I have been wounded. Physical and emotional wounds. And I only give it time for my wounds to heal.
Being on top is having control and power over your life. It’s something that we all aspire to achieve since we are only given one chance to live the life we want. However, I find that I am so far from living the full potential because of the many mistakes in the past. I am disappointed in myself that I fail at most things. I often tell myself that adulting is so difficult and I never expected life to be this way. I have no confidence in myself. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to bounce back.
If only there’s a rewind button so I could rewrite my life story, but there’s none so I have to carry on.
I don’t intend to be famous or ultra rich. I just want to find my place in this world where I could grow and somehow contribute a little of myself while at the same time live a comfortable life.
Still a tough climb. Path is not well-defined. Yet I want to be able to reach the part where I can say I reached the top and never gave up.
There’s nothing that I want more right now than to turn things around in my life. I never thought I’d end up this way – not knowing how or where to start over. I had a love-hate relationship with my job for a TV company and so I thought I needed a change in career.
I faced the uncertain. I resigned from my job and flew to my hometown I haven’t been in for several years. My dad wanted me to put up a tarp business I knew nothing about and look over another line of business he previously started with a relative. I barely had interest in these businesses but at that time I felt confident that I could make it both work. All I knew back then was that I wanted something new in my life even if I had to leave everything behind in Manila. That was the start of downward spiral in my life.