There have been many times in the past where I felt that the whole world is going to fall on me any minute. There were instances when I just wanted to disappear on the face of the Earth. Family problems, uneasiness, emptiness, financial troubles, insecurity, and that lack of direction in life have hounded me many times. I felt like giving up.
Back then, I thought calling on to God would give me that quick fix for my problems. For someone who’s used to instant gratification, I thought God will just hand me the solution on my lap. However, it did not go that way. I felt disappointed.
But then I realized, I just need to trust God and the process He wants me to go through. I don’t need to question Him for anything that’s going on in my life. It’s bratty to demand from God knowing that He is above all us in thoughts and ways.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are you ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” – Isaiah 55:8
Right now, I’m still not where I want to be. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I have no idea when I will be able to bounce back from life’s difficulties. And I still suffer from depression. But despite all these, I chose a different attitude right now and I’m using prayer as my weapon of choice. I feel a sense of security knowing that God is rooting for me every step of the way.