There’s nothing that I want more right now than to turn things around in my life. I never thought I’d end up this way – not knowing how or where to start over. I had a love-hate relationship with my job for a TV company and so I thought I needed a change in career.
I faced the uncertain. I resigned from my job and flew to my hometown I haven’t been in for several years. My dad wanted me to put up a tarp business I knew nothing about and look over another line of business he previously started with a relative. I barely had interest in these businesses but at that time I felt confident that I could make it both work. All I knew back then was that I wanted something new in my life even if I had to leave everything behind in Manila. That was the start of downward spiral in my life.
So obviously, the business ventures did not work out. We incurred several losses every time the machine malfunctioned. We had to fly in the technician from Manila only for the machine to bug down again after he leaves. The other line of business always had delays as well because of engine troubles. It came to a point where we had to overhaul the engines of all units and it certainly did not come cheap.
I was not always around to focus on the businesses. I was the only one left here in the Philippines – dad’s on board the ship, my sister was in UAE, my mom was in the USA. Imagine the freedom I felt that time. I constantly flew in and out of my hometown to look over our condo property in Manila. I craved for some time away from all the problems back in my hometown; I need to enjoy myself. Since I knew nothing about machines and engines and my focus was not 100% on these businesses, I gave out caretakers all the freedom to do whatever and that proved to be a terrible mistake. Nothing could be salvaged anymore. Determined to bounce back, I convinced my mom that I want to do another business that interests me with the help of another relative. And yet again, another disaster.
My relationship with my relatives and with my very own father were affected because of what happened back in my hometown. I got the cold treatment from some relatives, distrust from my father, all broken relationships because of this mistake.
I moved back here in Manila in the hopes of starting over. I landed a job at an embassy as the executive secretary of the ambassador only to quit after several months because a dear college friend convinced me that it pays more to be an auditor. We underwent 2 weeks training and certification for the auditor job. Sadly, only 1 in our class of 7 passed. I could not take my embassy job back because I was AWOL. Darn! Again, I wanted to get back on the job market but nothing came my way. I ended up joining an insurance company and lasted for a year there. I became a successful rookie for several months until I encountered a problem with a corporate client who lapsed on her bulk insurance for her employees. It affected my numbers, my teammates, and that of my unit manager. They kept telling me that it was not my fault that my corporate client defaulted but I had no face to show them anymore. That was the end of it as I could not find the motivation to do insurance again.
I figured I don’t want to be employed anymore and that I wanted to go into a business venture again but I just kept on having doubts about myself and of what I could do. After all these failures, it kind of shattered my confidence. Sure, I learned a lot of lessons from these experience – focus on one thing at a time, be 100% involved and be 100% dedicated on the business, never do business with family and relatives, and know the business in and out, among others. It’s been years since all of these have happened but I’m still reeling from the effects of my decisions, actions and inactions. I guess it’s true what they say: the choices you make today will have an impact tomorrow so choose wisely. God knows the desire of my heart is to turn things around.